Kuwait Times

Published Date: April 18, 2008
By Armineonila M., Staff columnist

As far as my rational mind can understand, trash is the only thing that we usually enjoy disposing of. I repeat: Trash - a non-living thing, waste that we no longer have use for. So whatever makes a person throw away an innocent child definitely throws my rational mind and sanity off balance.

Such an act makes me think of wars and their harsh effects: Deserted children striding alongside squirrels that scour for food, crying for their mamas and dadas to the delight of wolves and other predators. I can't even imagine abandoning my own pet. Watch me cry a flood if that happens. Yet daily, I read in Kuwait's newspapers, stories of children being ditched at other people's doorsteps.

Supposedly, infants or toddlers depend upon and trust their parents to look after them and feed them materially as well as emotionally, and so they snuggle safely inside a crib or are seen flouncing contentedly in their parents' company. This is the way we, as human beings, demonstrate responsible parenting in our own society. We raise our kids to maturity until such time that they gain their own independence (whenever that is). Animals like dogs, cats and rodents instinctively live by a different code
and they nurture their young for a much shorter time, if they nurture them at all.

But before we start judging those parents who choose to abandon their babies, shall we consider first the possible reasons for them doing so? The following realities are sharp. Prepare your bandages.

Unlike many other countries where personal relationships are condoned, irrespective of marital status, religious orientation and personal risks, many activities between couples are strictly governed in Kuwait. Illegitimate pregnancy is taboo. Premarital relationships are a big no-no. Couples are not allowed to live together before marriage. And most importantly, an exposed extramarital affair carries with it the threat of imprisonment.

But due to unpredictable (sometimes inevitable) human phenomena like love or romance, an illegitimate pregnancy might result from a clandestine romantic affair. In this case, the pregnancy gives maternal nature its darker shade. Fear of imprisonment might cause the soon-to-be mommies to consider casting away their kids, seeing them as hell's gate rather than heaven's gift.

There is no way that a pregnant woman could parade her growing tummy without proof of marriage. In these circumstances, there is no other logical means to escape a humiliating situation. Crime starts taking on its practical shape. Pregnancy, abortion or abandonment - all three options could lead to imprisonment.

Other reasons for abandonment could include prostitution and rape which are just a few faces of women's oppression. Who would gladly bear an unwanted child? How would you raise a child without the means of providing him or her proper education and social rights?

A parent, specifically a single pregnant woman, stuck in a difficult situation of giving birth to a child that would probably cause her imprisonment, and worse, bearing the responsibility of raising the child alone, might blindly, out of desperation, submit to another mistake, which is to get rid of the problem. Therefore, in this context, the concept of irresponsible parenting is socially driven rather than a personal choice.

Individuals who cannot flee the country immediately and have no means of escaping such jittery situations consider various solutions, like abortion, or simply leaving their children in the hands of others. Some, however, in trying to do the right thing for their children, might consider acquiring fake marriage certificates in order to secure a flat in order to keep their kids with them. But that could also mean two counts of crime committed.

Society's disciplinary methods, at times, force individuals to commit more sins. Mothers' choose to sacrifice their own rights and responsibilities for the sake of protecting themselves from possible punishment and perhaps are even thinking about the future of their kids.

Nevertheless, I believe that people have instincts as well as conscience. Conscience is what we need to weigh our decisions at the same time that it makes us differentiate between garbage and life. Children are precious and their lives should not be thrown away like garbage. But in the event that your conscience stops functioning, and you feel that your only option is to abandon your child by throwing it away with the trash, then perhaps, it's about time you visited the nearest veterinary clinic.

Email: local@kuwaittimes.net