Kuwait Times

Published Date: April 23, 2007
By Muna Al-Fuzai

One of the things that I hate most in Kuwait are elevators. I would not hesitate to avoid them as much as I can. First floor is a mission possible, but as I go higher like the fifth or ninth floors then I take a deep breath and immediately step outside any elevator no matter what, out of fear. I'm not a great athlete nor a sports aficionado so climbing a flight of a hundred steps or so may not be a good choice for someone old and lethargic like me. I have my reasons for that. First, I think I am paranoid after reading and hearing of all those horrible crimes daily in the local newspapers about people who are attacked, harassed or even molested in elevators especially women and children.

Secondly, I hate the possibility of elevators malfunctioning and stopping suddenly due to an electrical failure. I can't image being trapped in a very restricted space with strangers. You could never know who among them might be mentally sick, sexual maniacs, hoodlums or even carrying weapons!!! Isn't it the new fashion these days where youths do carry such items and don't you think they might use them? I'm sure some would say that this is ridiculous but being careless could lead you to troubles in Kuwait and I don't want to be a victim of any such thing due to my stupidity.

Third, crowded elevators are awful because of body odours and perfumes that overwhelm the space inside. Some stink so bad that they might not have had a shower for a couple of days or worse some are so heavily perfumed with those cheap nauseating perfumes available in the old markets for just 500 fils apiece. Not to mention if you have a medical history of asthma or allergy then you would hardly be able to stay in for a few minutes, just bursting to get out for some fresh air.

Fourth, it doesn't hurt to be a little considerate and courteous while travelling in an elevator. This really gets me nuts. For example if one were to be the first one in, then it is but natural that he or she takes position near the buttons panel. Other entrants can switch places, but not the one who entered first. That person then is left with no other option but to be the lift operator right through the journey - up or down. Now, this is fine with me, but then you sometimes come across some uncouth people who do not even bother to tell you their destination, and expect you to ask them which floor they wish to get off.

Do you get a word of thanks for your service? You've got to be kidding.  
Fifth, I hate intrusive conversations. There are those who meet you in an elevator and start making untoward comments, complaints and asking silly questions. Just because you share an elevator with them it does not mean you have to strike up conversations with them and be their friends. That is really annoying here.

Sixth, showing off in elevators is another national pastime here in Kuwait. I remember a very amusing incident when I was in an elevator once. There was this Kuwaiti lady, who wanting to show her expensive mobile off, was actually talking on her mobile and continued talking even after the elevator doors were shut. Now any bumbling idiot knows that signals are usually very weak in closed elevators, but she went on anyways. Then the inevitable happened - Her phone actually rang! I recalled that she had depressed floor 12 on the panel, but decided to walk out of the elevator on floor seven out of embarrassment.   It was not for real!!! Why would someone do such things? Who cares anyhow? Finally, these may not be enough justifications for most to hate using the elevators but for me they're more than enough.
munaalfuzai@kuwaittimes.net